Playing With Telemarketers

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Playing With Telemarketers

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME:

Hello.

AT&T:

Hello, this is AT&T.

ME:

Is this AT&T.

AT&T:

Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME:

This is AT&T.

AT&T:

Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME:

Is this AT&T.?

AT&T:

Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?

ME:

May I ask who is calling?

AT&T:

This is AT&T.

ME:

OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME:

Hello?

AT&T:

Is this Mr. Byron?

ME:

May I ask who is calling, please?

AT&T:

Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME:

This is AT&T?

AT&T:

Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME:

The phone company.

AT&T:

Yes, sir.

ME:

I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T:

Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME:

I already have a phone.

AT&T:

We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME:

Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T:

(getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME:

7 days a week.?

AT&T:

That's right.

ME:

365 days a year.?

AT&T:

Yes, sir.

ME:

I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T:

We think so!

ME:

That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T:

Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME:

OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T:

Excuse me?

ME:

You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T:

What are you talking about?

ME:

You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T:

Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME:

Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T:

No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

ME:

THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

AT&T:

Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME:

I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T:

Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR:

Mr. Byron?

ME:

Yeah.

SUPERVISOR:

I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

ME:

Is This A T &T?

SUPERVISOR:

Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME:

(I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to

get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR:

Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

ME:

Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T:

Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

ME:

No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"

thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T:

click........

Posted on January 22, 2012 via The Memory Bowl with 58,996 notes

Source: kennyisit
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If I had just one chance

Playing With Telemarketers